I don't know why I didn't post this before today but I didn't. Possibly I needed time to process through what I heard. I spent the past weekend at Nomads in Oklahoma. It was great in so many ways. I had a much needed break from real life in Little Rock as well as being able to worship, pray and just be around others who are excited about missions and what God is doing in the rest of the world. Plus I got to camp for the entire weekend.
Throughout the weekend we heard many great messages. Each one had an impact that touched my heart. I carried something away from each but one in particular hit me the most.
It was on Saturday morning that Jamie Zumwalt's dad spoke. The title of his message was "Decisions Determine Your Destiny." (at least that was what I wrote down) He had us look at the passage in Deuteronomy 1:19-21. He shared how this was a time when the Israelites looked at their circumstances which made them feel small and insignificant. They chose, for whatever reason, not to look at their possibilities through God. They weren't willing to take a risk and make a decision that would have resulted in a radically different history. What if the spies would have come back with a good report? The history of Israel could have taken a totally different direction. The result was that the Israelites over 20 years of age when they left Egypt wouldn't get to cross the Jordan into the promised land. Their decision determined their destiny.
How does any of this apply to me? As Jamie's dad shared, ALL missionaries have these experiences which are usually driven by fear. It's a time when we look at the circumstances in front of us and think this is way too impossible. For some it's a fear of the unknown of a fear of remaining single. For others it's a fear of not having enough support. But, the question we have to choose to ask ourselves is: Are the risks and the sacrifices worth it?
Right now I'm looking at my circumstances and it seems to me that I'm facing so many giants. I have to constantly remind myself that God is in control. I have to keep looking to God and know that He is bigger than any circumstance that I might face. I have to keep telling myself that He is the source of my everything and I definitely want to make decisions based on what God's destiny is for my life.
Over the last couple of days, I've kept reading back through my notes from this message and each time they bring me comfort. Another thing that Jamie's dad said that stuck with me was that the greater the cause, the greater the cost.
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