Have you ever spent days fighting to hold back the tears? Have you ever spent days wanting to scream inside? I'm sure it happens to everyone at some point in life. I've spent the last two days battling with these emotions.
Why? It seems I'm fighting with God. You see I've been giving Him some pretty specific prayer requests over the last couple of years. Now it seems that one of them is being answered. So, why do I feel like crying? Why am I screaming inside? It's because He isn't answering me in the way that I want or think that He should.
I keep arguing with Him telling Him, "Yes, I know You are answering my prayer. But please don't answer it this way." He keeps answering back, "Trust Me."
I want to trust Him. I want to walk in obedience to Him. I want to live each day for Him. But, why does it have to be so hard?
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