Invisible

For days I've been quiet.  There's little to say.  For months I've been in pain but you seem to not notice.  You ask why I'm quiet.  I say no reason and you go on your way.
The answer is deep, much deeper than you may want to go.  I feel like there's no value in me.  I feel like I've been crossed off of some checklist, not needed as some would say.  I feel like I've been conquered so no place else to go.
Why do I feel not valued?  I feel like there's no me.  I feel like it's all senseless, all that I have to say.  What do you need my opinion for?  It's stupid you believe.  What sense would it make when it's so different from yours?  No meeting of the minds in the middle as everyone tries to make me conform to what they want me to be.  I sway here and there until I can't be seen.  There's no more me.  I'm just a person pushed around to whomever it may be.  I feel like there's no need for me.
I've been crossed off the list.  That's accomplished.  Now on to the next task as she tries to keep up.  But not needed, where will she be?  If I were to disappear in a crowd or die today, would you miss me?  Or would life just go on with the next mountain to scale?  Would you remember the good times or only the bad?  Would you wish to see me?  Or the vapor of me, would be forgotten tomorrow as you push forward with your plans?
The pain is physical.  My whole body hurts.  The headaches come and go with the stress of making it through the day.  The soles of my feet hurt as I walk in the night.  My hips feel out of line.  My back is barely straight.  Do you notice?  Do you care?  Or do you just walk right by with the next thing on your agenda?  Is it too much to bear?
The pain is emotional.  Am I too ugly and fat?  Is there any importance to me or no time for that?  The scars on the inside seem too big to hide.  But hide they must so that I can move forward.  Once in a while there's a glimpse of that scar.  Do you see the beauty in what has been learned so far?  Or does it just disgust you and make you want to turn away?  They impact the future because they make up me.  No place to hide from the giants inside.
The pain is spiritual as God seems so far away.  The One who walked beside me yesterday seems to have hidden away.  I know He is there, but where to start from afresh.  Will He have forgotten me?  The burden is heavy.  I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders.  Won't You help me to lift it off me?  I can hardly look up to You.  Won't You please help me?