I read a statistic today that 50% of Uganda's populations dwell in slums. Slums that are dirty, full of crime, where AIDS is rampant, prostitution is normal, and men rarely play their role in the family.
It's a vital ministry. However, slum ministry is just plain hard. It's daunting. It seems endless and thankless. The problems and the heart break often times seem to outweigh the triumphs and the joy. And today has just been one of them days.
One of my kid's uncles greeted me this morning with: "Don't pay school fees for my niece as of yet. I hear she's pregnant." Lovely, I had my day planned out and it didnt' include a pregnancy check up on a 14 year old child...... The day before a grandmother had informed me that she didnt' want her grandchild going back to school. Very unusual so a home visit was on the schedule..... didn't know it was going to turn into a nearly all day affair..... Then the uncle told me to take all the girls living in his home to be checked for being pregnant.
So, let me start with the grandmother. She was just plain evil. I have no other word to describe her. I've never seen someone with so much hatred towards a grandchild. She was insisting that the girl was worthless and shouldn't be in school, telling me not to waste my money. The child was insisting that she wanted to go to school and the grandmother was practicing witchcraft (there goes that lovely accusation again) and just wanted her to miss out on her chance. I was insisting to the grandmother that yes, children misbehave and are badly mannered at times but it was my role to guide them and not give up on them. Still, she was insisting no school. I was insisting that taking the child out of school will make things worse. An idle girl in the slum..... let me see, can we say pregnant within the next year or becoming a drunkard or countless other tragedies??????
Most families that I've come across that accuse their children of being badly behaved beg for them to be taken to boarding schools where they can be out of hte slum, more closely monitored, and better disciplined. And it usually works! However, this grandmother was just CRAZY. Again, I about 90% believe the witchcraft accusations. (maybe I'm getting sucked into this accusation being thrown around).
The girl began threatening to kill herself and said if she had to stay another night in that home she would do just that. Now, I was really concerned, not wanting that hanging over my head. I told the grandmother since we couldn't sort it out, I was going to bring the local officials and let them sort it out. That made her nervous. She quickly changed her story and said that she wasn't the one responsible for decisions concerning the child, but that there was an uncle who was (male dominance). So, I asked to see the uncle. I was told he lives some ways away. We called him and he said he didn't have money to get there so we would have to go to him. Another surprise expense I wasn't expecting. We loaded up the in a hired car (the driver, a translator, the child, grandmother, and an auntie- who the child wanted to move in with). We arrived at the uncle's workplace, where he didn't even want to look at or greet the grandmother. That is her child but seems they have their own grievances.
His response was to not remove the child from school and if I was willing to take her to boarding, I should do so. He also said to let the girl stay with the auntie until school begins. We told him he needed to give us written consent and it needed to be signed and stamped from a local official. He called about two hours later to say the letter was ready and that he wanted to meet with us again to give us more details.......
Now, to the teen pregnancy issue. I headed back and found only 3 of the 5 girls at home so we were off to the clinic. Results: 2 of the 3 are pregnant. One three months and the other four months. My heart just sank. I look at these girls and see babies. The one that is three months told me she didn't want to miss her chance for schooling and had already taken drugs to make the baby abort. My heart sank again. She said she expects it to work before school begins. I'm praying it doesn't.
The other child we advised to not abort, but to have the baby and then get back in school as quickly as possible, meaning I'll have to start looking for a relative to take the baby. She agreed.
I called the school counselor to let her know what was going on and she advised as well to get both girls back in school as quickly as possible and that she would give them extra attention.
Now to break the news to the dad. The one four months pregnant is his niece, the other his daughter. As you can imagine, he was crushed. He said he's a single dad, how can he help a 14 year old girl deliver. His suggestion is to send her to an auntie in the village, the auntie that she was living with until two months ago, when she came to live at his home. Another family meeting is in the schedule for tomorrow. I'm not really for sending her back to the village as there will be little to no medical care, but not real sure of which woman to send her to here in town........
Then it was time to focus on my little kids for the evening. Two children that have captured my heart, but who I know are both really sick. The fact that both are HIV+ often times escapes my mind but from time to time, the reality hits me hard. I don't know for how long they will be here. I may not get to see them grow up. I love them more than I ever thought it was possible for me to love and know that a part of my heart is going to always be with them.........
So, while my heart is continually breaking, I know that I've asked God to break my heart with the things that break His. I know that He has the strength to help me carry this load. I know that He gives the grace and comfort. And I know that in the midst of the sadness, He will provide all the joy I need to keep going. In all the crap that surrounds me (and I also mean that literally), I wouldn't trade places and be anywhere else in the world, or doing anything else than what I'm doing.
Please keep these kids in your prayers. Every statistic imaginable is stacked against them. But, I know in Christ they can overcome. Today's tragedies become tomorrow's triumphs!
It's a vital ministry. However, slum ministry is just plain hard. It's daunting. It seems endless and thankless. The problems and the heart break often times seem to outweigh the triumphs and the joy. And today has just been one of them days.
One of my kid's uncles greeted me this morning with: "Don't pay school fees for my niece as of yet. I hear she's pregnant." Lovely, I had my day planned out and it didnt' include a pregnancy check up on a 14 year old child...... The day before a grandmother had informed me that she didnt' want her grandchild going back to school. Very unusual so a home visit was on the schedule..... didn't know it was going to turn into a nearly all day affair..... Then the uncle told me to take all the girls living in his home to be checked for being pregnant.
So, let me start with the grandmother. She was just plain evil. I have no other word to describe her. I've never seen someone with so much hatred towards a grandchild. She was insisting that the girl was worthless and shouldn't be in school, telling me not to waste my money. The child was insisting that she wanted to go to school and the grandmother was practicing witchcraft (there goes that lovely accusation again) and just wanted her to miss out on her chance. I was insisting to the grandmother that yes, children misbehave and are badly mannered at times but it was my role to guide them and not give up on them. Still, she was insisting no school. I was insisting that taking the child out of school will make things worse. An idle girl in the slum..... let me see, can we say pregnant within the next year or becoming a drunkard or countless other tragedies??????
Most families that I've come across that accuse their children of being badly behaved beg for them to be taken to boarding schools where they can be out of hte slum, more closely monitored, and better disciplined. And it usually works! However, this grandmother was just CRAZY. Again, I about 90% believe the witchcraft accusations. (maybe I'm getting sucked into this accusation being thrown around).
The girl began threatening to kill herself and said if she had to stay another night in that home she would do just that. Now, I was really concerned, not wanting that hanging over my head. I told the grandmother since we couldn't sort it out, I was going to bring the local officials and let them sort it out. That made her nervous. She quickly changed her story and said that she wasn't the one responsible for decisions concerning the child, but that there was an uncle who was (male dominance). So, I asked to see the uncle. I was told he lives some ways away. We called him and he said he didn't have money to get there so we would have to go to him. Another surprise expense I wasn't expecting. We loaded up the in a hired car (the driver, a translator, the child, grandmother, and an auntie- who the child wanted to move in with). We arrived at the uncle's workplace, where he didn't even want to look at or greet the grandmother. That is her child but seems they have their own grievances.
His response was to not remove the child from school and if I was willing to take her to boarding, I should do so. He also said to let the girl stay with the auntie until school begins. We told him he needed to give us written consent and it needed to be signed and stamped from a local official. He called about two hours later to say the letter was ready and that he wanted to meet with us again to give us more details.......
Now, to the teen pregnancy issue. I headed back and found only 3 of the 5 girls at home so we were off to the clinic. Results: 2 of the 3 are pregnant. One three months and the other four months. My heart just sank. I look at these girls and see babies. The one that is three months told me she didn't want to miss her chance for schooling and had already taken drugs to make the baby abort. My heart sank again. She said she expects it to work before school begins. I'm praying it doesn't.
The other child we advised to not abort, but to have the baby and then get back in school as quickly as possible, meaning I'll have to start looking for a relative to take the baby. She agreed.
I called the school counselor to let her know what was going on and she advised as well to get both girls back in school as quickly as possible and that she would give them extra attention.
Now to break the news to the dad. The one four months pregnant is his niece, the other his daughter. As you can imagine, he was crushed. He said he's a single dad, how can he help a 14 year old girl deliver. His suggestion is to send her to an auntie in the village, the auntie that she was living with until two months ago, when she came to live at his home. Another family meeting is in the schedule for tomorrow. I'm not really for sending her back to the village as there will be little to no medical care, but not real sure of which woman to send her to here in town........
Then it was time to focus on my little kids for the evening. Two children that have captured my heart, but who I know are both really sick. The fact that both are HIV+ often times escapes my mind but from time to time, the reality hits me hard. I don't know for how long they will be here. I may not get to see them grow up. I love them more than I ever thought it was possible for me to love and know that a part of my heart is going to always be with them.........
So, while my heart is continually breaking, I know that I've asked God to break my heart with the things that break His. I know that He has the strength to help me carry this load. I know that He gives the grace and comfort. And I know that in the midst of the sadness, He will provide all the joy I need to keep going. In all the crap that surrounds me (and I also mean that literally), I wouldn't trade places and be anywhere else in the world, or doing anything else than what I'm doing.
Please keep these kids in your prayers. Every statistic imaginable is stacked against them. But, I know in Christ they can overcome. Today's tragedies become tomorrow's triumphs!
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