This is another struggle for me. I want everyone to be happy. I don't want to annoy anyone or for people to not be happy with me. I was made even more aware of my tendency to be a people pleaser last week while going through some things. I couldn't stand the thought of someone being disappointed or angry at me, even when in my heart I knew I was making the right decision.
Even in the project that I am working on here in Uganda, I find it difficult to keep everyone happy. I have about 20 children that are currently sponsored but there are thousands more that need help. Every day, someone asks me to help them to take their child to school. It's heartbreaking because I really do want to help them all. But, sources are limited and I don't want to take on more than I can budget for. This means that people are left thinking that possibly I am just being mean or unwilling to help them. It means that I'm left struggling with how to keep everyone happy and it's impossible. As much as I want to help everyone, I just can't and it is so difficult to try to explain why. People here assume that all Americans are wealthy so they can't understand why I would say that there is not money.
I'm praying that God will help me to continue growing in this area. I can see how He allowed me to grow last week through standing up to someone even though that meant some tension in the relationship. I'm thankful that the relationship remained in tact and that we are working through the issues instead of ignoring each other.
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